Today we went to the Pulmonologist for our regular 2-3 month check up. We have the possibility to see a different Doctor each time we go, because they call it a clinic and you never know which Doctor you will get. We have had the same Doctor for most of our visits. So today was no different we saw a new Doctor, which I ended up really liking, so I hope we can see him again. He was VERY happy with what he saw in Matthew. ( a little back up first...) Last visit they decided to keep Matthew on oxygen until his respiration rate slowed down. He has always had a faster then "normal" respiration rate.
Well today Matthew's respiration rate was great and has been. The new doctor was very impressed considering Matthew has been fighting a cold. He said that the fact he had a cold and it didn't really bother him was a great thing. So he ordered a sleep study to see if we can get rid of the oxygen. YAY!!! I am not at all nervous about this, as each time he has been in the hospital lately he takes his oxygen off and still saturates at 98-100%. I know the sleep study is a lot more involved, but if they are looking if his saturation levels drop I can tell them that they do not. So I don't want to get my hopes too high, but this did excite me quite a bit. Wow, what would it be like to NOT have to haul around oxygen? I am pretty sure Matthew understood the doctor, because since we left there I can not keep his oxygen on him. Little Turkey...We are tentatively scheduled for a nighttime 10 hour sleep study, but the doctor was telling me he wanted a nap study, which is done during the day at nap time. So we will see which one it is for sure. Then we go back in June and they will decide if he can come of oxygen or not. So we have a few more months with it, but I think I finally see that light at the end of the tunnel.
Other then that things have been pretty quite around here. Matthew did great in his last surgery and was able to come home that day. He has recovered really well, all except for his cold. He seems to be getting over that now. We all had it, but ours was only about a 4-5 day thing. After several breathing treatments and steroids we managed his cold at home. Thank the Lord.
We just have all of our regular routine visits coming in the next few months and I am hoping it stays that way.
Even though the new Children's Hospital is opening section by section, I don't really need to go see it. I can see it from the outside as we drive by going to doctors. I am totally okay with that.
Here's to hoping June brings GREAT News,
Jaime
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
What's up?
I thought is was time for an update:
Matthew has been doing great. He has been making great progress in therapy. He is almost sitting unassisted...he can sit for about 30-45 seconds without falling. He has started talking and doing some baby sign language. He says about 10-15 words, which I didn't think he would do for awhile due to him not using his mouth to eat. I have heard you need to use all the muscles needed to eat to talk. So I was a little surprised he is talking as much as he is. As stated above he is still not taking anything by mouth. He goes to OT twice a week and we work on feeding him, but he has no interest in food. He will put ANYTHING else in his mouth, but not food. I am hoping that it will just click with him one of these days. He has started drinking water out of a cup so that is great progress. He only takes about 5-10 mls at a time, but at least it is something.
A few weeks ago I was changing his diaper and noticed that his left testie was looking very swollen, so we took a trip to the pediatrician and she said he had an inguinal hernia. Of course he did. Why wouldn't he. Everything that seems to go wrong with his results in a "hernia". So we scheduled an appointment with a urologist and found out he needs surgery to fix it. With that being said surgery is scheduled for this coming Tuesday February 26th. I am hoping and praying it will be an outpatient procedure, but they are making sure he has a room in the ICU just in case. Since he has not done anything in life normally they do not want to take any chances. I am hoping that this does not set him back any at all. I just want to see him keep making great strides in his development.
After we went back to therapy after the first of the year, they reevaluated him and gave him goals. He is already reaching his goals for OT and he is making progress towards his goals for PT. I am so proud of all the progress that he has made. All of his hospital stays and illnesses set him back quite a bit. It was very hard to watch him regress on all of the things he was doing. I am keeping a very positive outlook on all of this and treating it as a learning experience. I just hope there is not a next time for needing any of this information.
I will update after his surgery..
J
Matthew has been doing great. He has been making great progress in therapy. He is almost sitting unassisted...he can sit for about 30-45 seconds without falling. He has started talking and doing some baby sign language. He says about 10-15 words, which I didn't think he would do for awhile due to him not using his mouth to eat. I have heard you need to use all the muscles needed to eat to talk. So I was a little surprised he is talking as much as he is. As stated above he is still not taking anything by mouth. He goes to OT twice a week and we work on feeding him, but he has no interest in food. He will put ANYTHING else in his mouth, but not food. I am hoping that it will just click with him one of these days. He has started drinking water out of a cup so that is great progress. He only takes about 5-10 mls at a time, but at least it is something.
A few weeks ago I was changing his diaper and noticed that his left testie was looking very swollen, so we took a trip to the pediatrician and she said he had an inguinal hernia. Of course he did. Why wouldn't he. Everything that seems to go wrong with his results in a "hernia". So we scheduled an appointment with a urologist and found out he needs surgery to fix it. With that being said surgery is scheduled for this coming Tuesday February 26th. I am hoping and praying it will be an outpatient procedure, but they are making sure he has a room in the ICU just in case. Since he has not done anything in life normally they do not want to take any chances. I am hoping that this does not set him back any at all. I just want to see him keep making great strides in his development.
After we went back to therapy after the first of the year, they reevaluated him and gave him goals. He is already reaching his goals for OT and he is making progress towards his goals for PT. I am so proud of all the progress that he has made. All of his hospital stays and illnesses set him back quite a bit. It was very hard to watch him regress on all of the things he was doing. I am keeping a very positive outlook on all of this and treating it as a learning experience. I just hope there is not a next time for needing any of this information.
I will update after his surgery..
J
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
A good start to 2013
So far it has been a good start to 2013. No hospital visits for almost a month. That is a new record for the last few months. About three weeks ago we saw his pulmonologist and he thought he was looking good considering everything he had been through. He discontinued all of his oral medications that day. Yay! He is still on oxygen and will continue to be until his respiration rate is more normal. He still hangs out in the 40-50bpm range. Still faster then "normal". I was ok with this am
Nd knowing what the future plans are make it easier to deal with. It is the not knowing plan that I don't like very much. His Physical Therapist says he should be off once he starts sitting up and gaining more strength. She says that alone should help his breathing.
Speaking of therapy, he has been making great progress. He is able to hold his head up again and can almost sit up unassisted again. He still does not like tummy time at all, but that doesn't stop any of us from putting him on it. He still protests a lot in therapy, but now we know it is just protesting and not something wrong with him. His OT is going ok. (This is his feeding therapy) we can get him to take a bite or two but he is refusing to swallow things. He likes to let it just pool in his mouth. This will be a very long road getting him to eat and gain confidence in his swallowing abilities. You can tell he is not confident he can do it. He has had a swallow study and passed it, so we know he can swallow properly.
Today we had our cardiology and GI follow ups...
Cardiology went well said he was very happy with his progress and feels we are ready to drag our appointments further out. So now we go every 6 months instead of every 3. Yay for forward progress. He also said his pulmonary hypertension looks the same, which last time he said it was very mild to gone. He said at this age you can not say for 100% certainty it is gone, but he is pretty confident it is at the very worst very very mild. Yay again. The PH monster can go away and never come back and it would be too soon.
His GI was happy with him as well. She saw him shortly after his last hospital stay and could not believe everything he had been through. He had lost some weight, but was given a pass due to his hospitalizations. Since his last visit 3 weeks ago he has gained almost 2 lbs. I know that doesn't sound like much , but for a 100% tube fed and CDH kiddo this is great. CDH kiddos seem to not like to gain weight. She took him off of infant formula and put him on pediasure. I sure hope he tolerates it. He has been kind of sensitive to new formulas. I have been told insurance should cover it due to him being tube fed, so I sure hope that is true in our case.
Over all his doctors appointments went really well. We have is neurosurgeon follow up tomorrow and I hope that goes as well. His incisions are still pretty pink and the doctor he not liked that in that past so fingers crossed Matthew passes inspection tomorrow.
Matthew has just gotten better and better everyday. He is so much more mobile and vocal then he was about 3 months ago. It is so nice to have my baby back.he rolls around and sits up and plays with toys all the time and absolutely loves playing with his brother. It is so much fun to sit and watch them.
We have managed to stay healthy this cold and flu season. I just hope and pray it stays that way. That is the last thing Matthew needs right now. We have been being very careful, but it is hard when you have so many Dr appts. And therapies to go to each week. We will just keep staying inside and avoiding busy "people" areas and hopefully we can make it through the rest of the cold/flu season without any of it.
I think that catches us up for now, I will keep posting when I have any information to share.
Nd knowing what the future plans are make it easier to deal with. It is the not knowing plan that I don't like very much. His Physical Therapist says he should be off once he starts sitting up and gaining more strength. She says that alone should help his breathing.
Speaking of therapy, he has been making great progress. He is able to hold his head up again and can almost sit up unassisted again. He still does not like tummy time at all, but that doesn't stop any of us from putting him on it. He still protests a lot in therapy, but now we know it is just protesting and not something wrong with him. His OT is going ok. (This is his feeding therapy) we can get him to take a bite or two but he is refusing to swallow things. He likes to let it just pool in his mouth. This will be a very long road getting him to eat and gain confidence in his swallowing abilities. You can tell he is not confident he can do it. He has had a swallow study and passed it, so we know he can swallow properly.
Today we had our cardiology and GI follow ups...
Cardiology went well said he was very happy with his progress and feels we are ready to drag our appointments further out. So now we go every 6 months instead of every 3. Yay for forward progress. He also said his pulmonary hypertension looks the same, which last time he said it was very mild to gone. He said at this age you can not say for 100% certainty it is gone, but he is pretty confident it is at the very worst very very mild. Yay again. The PH monster can go away and never come back and it would be too soon.
His GI was happy with him as well. She saw him shortly after his last hospital stay and could not believe everything he had been through. He had lost some weight, but was given a pass due to his hospitalizations. Since his last visit 3 weeks ago he has gained almost 2 lbs. I know that doesn't sound like much , but for a 100% tube fed and CDH kiddo this is great. CDH kiddos seem to not like to gain weight. She took him off of infant formula and put him on pediasure. I sure hope he tolerates it. He has been kind of sensitive to new formulas. I have been told insurance should cover it due to him being tube fed, so I sure hope that is true in our case.
Over all his doctors appointments went really well. We have is neurosurgeon follow up tomorrow and I hope that goes as well. His incisions are still pretty pink and the doctor he not liked that in that past so fingers crossed Matthew passes inspection tomorrow.
Matthew has just gotten better and better everyday. He is so much more mobile and vocal then he was about 3 months ago. It is so nice to have my baby back.he rolls around and sits up and plays with toys all the time and absolutely loves playing with his brother. It is so much fun to sit and watch them.
We have managed to stay healthy this cold and flu season. I just hope and pray it stays that way. That is the last thing Matthew needs right now. We have been being very careful, but it is hard when you have so many Dr appts. And therapies to go to each week. We will just keep staying inside and avoiding busy "people" areas and hopefully we can make it through the rest of the cold/flu season without any of it.
I think that catches us up for now, I will keep posting when I have any information to share.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Here we go Again!!!
Here is a little back story as to Why Matthew had surgery again.
When he was in the hospital a month ago he missed his 1 year appointment with his pediatrician. So I rescheduled it for 2 days after he was discharged. During her routine assessment she discovered his head was really big. Like off the charts big. He head was in the 25% for all his other visits, so this was quite alarming to her. She immediately told me to get into contact with a neurologist. I called and talked to them and they did what they do and I ended up getting an Appt for December 21st. I called the neurologist office to see if I needed a CT scan or MRI before his visit and they basically just blew it off and said they would decide at his visit. They then told me they needed some extra paperwork from my Pediatrician. So I took her the paperwork that she needed and she wanted to re-measure Matthew's head. It was bigger from 2 1/2 weeks ago when he was in there getting his Synagis shot. So she suggested we take him to the ER. So that is what I did.
I got up yesterday morning and got Finn off to a friends house and Matthew and I headed to the ER. We arrived at about 10:20am and by 10:30am I had seen the Doctor and by 10:50am we had had a CT scan. CT results came back about 10 minutes later and is was determined that Matthew had severe Hydrocephalus. Needless to say they said Surgery would be today and was scheduled for 2:00pm. GULP!!! Another Surgery???? The neuro surgeons PA came in and did a procedure on Matthew in the ER. He stuck a decent sized needle in Matthew's soft spot and drew out some of the fluid. They need to make sure it was not infected before they knew which procedure they were going to do. About 30 minutes after that was done we were rolled down to pre-op and he went into surgery at about 1:30. He did not have an infection so they ended up placing a shunt into his head. (I will do my best to try and explain this below). The surgery itself took about 30-40 minutes but he was in recovery for quite awhile before I was able to go back with him. He did great during the surgery. This one seems to be a bit tougher on him then even the previous one. Seems to be in more pain. Which is totally understandable.
What is Hydrocephalus?
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002538/
What is a shunt?
So what they told me is that they take a straw type of a tube and run that from the head to behind the ear and connect it to a valve behind his ear.From the valve they place another tube from the valve and run it down his neck, chest and into his stomach and the fluid can drain into it. The valve it electronic and completely programmable. So the Doctor can adjust it as needed. We hope he doesn't have to have this replaced, but it is a very real possibility that he will need the shunt replaced several times in his life.
My poor baby boy has been through so much in his short little life. I just hope he can catch a break soon. It terrifies me beyond belief every time he goes into the hospital. I never know what will happen.I try not to worry too much, but it is impossible. And the stress that you endure while your child is in the Hospital/Surgery is unlike any other stress I have experienced. It is not a healthy stress for me. It is a stress that makes me not want to eat, drink or sleep. All these things you need to be there for your baby and I can not seem to MAKE myself do any of them. I am usually the opposite with "normal" stress I want to eat ALL the time. I am hopeful this will be a short hospital stay and he will feel SOOO much better after this. All I want is my happy baby boy back. He has been miserable for about two months now and it just breaks my heart knowing that we could have had this taken care of sooner, if I hadn't waited on the neurologist clinic. I have learned a lesson and that is to ALWAYS trust my gut and Mommy instinct.
We just added one more thing to have to worry about all the time now. But I am forever greatfull to have my little boy here with us. So many CDH families are not as lucky as us. I do not take a single day with Matthew of Finn for that matter for granted. I cherish every moment I have with them, because you never know when you won't have another one.
Have I ever said that I HATE CDH.. Well I do. It is an evil awful defect that doesn't just get fixed with the repair surgery. It is a life long problem for a lot of kids and Matthew is showing that this might be the case for him. I urge you all to help raise awareness ANY way you can. Matthew and SOOOOO many other babies need it. I wish no other families had to go through what we have. Sadly there is a baby born every 10 minutes with CDH and 50% of them DO NOT make it. I know I have said this before and I will DEFINITELY say it again. My efforts for raising awareness are far from over, they may have just started.
Thank you for reading,
Jaime
When he was in the hospital a month ago he missed his 1 year appointment with his pediatrician. So I rescheduled it for 2 days after he was discharged. During her routine assessment she discovered his head was really big. Like off the charts big. He head was in the 25% for all his other visits, so this was quite alarming to her. She immediately told me to get into contact with a neurologist. I called and talked to them and they did what they do and I ended up getting an Appt for December 21st. I called the neurologist office to see if I needed a CT scan or MRI before his visit and they basically just blew it off and said they would decide at his visit. They then told me they needed some extra paperwork from my Pediatrician. So I took her the paperwork that she needed and she wanted to re-measure Matthew's head. It was bigger from 2 1/2 weeks ago when he was in there getting his Synagis shot. So she suggested we take him to the ER. So that is what I did.
I got up yesterday morning and got Finn off to a friends house and Matthew and I headed to the ER. We arrived at about 10:20am and by 10:30am I had seen the Doctor and by 10:50am we had had a CT scan. CT results came back about 10 minutes later and is was determined that Matthew had severe Hydrocephalus. Needless to say they said Surgery would be today and was scheduled for 2:00pm. GULP!!! Another Surgery???? The neuro surgeons PA came in and did a procedure on Matthew in the ER. He stuck a decent sized needle in Matthew's soft spot and drew out some of the fluid. They need to make sure it was not infected before they knew which procedure they were going to do. About 30 minutes after that was done we were rolled down to pre-op and he went into surgery at about 1:30. He did not have an infection so they ended up placing a shunt into his head. (I will do my best to try and explain this below). The surgery itself took about 30-40 minutes but he was in recovery for quite awhile before I was able to go back with him. He did great during the surgery. This one seems to be a bit tougher on him then even the previous one. Seems to be in more pain. Which is totally understandable.
What is Hydrocephalus?
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002538/
What is a shunt?
So what they told me is that they take a straw type of a tube and run that from the head to behind the ear and connect it to a valve behind his ear.From the valve they place another tube from the valve and run it down his neck, chest and into his stomach and the fluid can drain into it. The valve it electronic and completely programmable. So the Doctor can adjust it as needed. We hope he doesn't have to have this replaced, but it is a very real possibility that he will need the shunt replaced several times in his life.
My poor baby boy has been through so much in his short little life. I just hope he can catch a break soon. It terrifies me beyond belief every time he goes into the hospital. I never know what will happen.I try not to worry too much, but it is impossible. And the stress that you endure while your child is in the Hospital/Surgery is unlike any other stress I have experienced. It is not a healthy stress for me. It is a stress that makes me not want to eat, drink or sleep. All these things you need to be there for your baby and I can not seem to MAKE myself do any of them. I am usually the opposite with "normal" stress I want to eat ALL the time. I am hopeful this will be a short hospital stay and he will feel SOOO much better after this. All I want is my happy baby boy back. He has been miserable for about two months now and it just breaks my heart knowing that we could have had this taken care of sooner, if I hadn't waited on the neurologist clinic. I have learned a lesson and that is to ALWAYS trust my gut and Mommy instinct.
We just added one more thing to have to worry about all the time now. But I am forever greatfull to have my little boy here with us. So many CDH families are not as lucky as us. I do not take a single day with Matthew of Finn for that matter for granted. I cherish every moment I have with them, because you never know when you won't have another one.
Have I ever said that I HATE CDH.. Well I do. It is an evil awful defect that doesn't just get fixed with the repair surgery. It is a life long problem for a lot of kids and Matthew is showing that this might be the case for him. I urge you all to help raise awareness ANY way you can. Matthew and SOOOOO many other babies need it. I wish no other families had to go through what we have. Sadly there is a baby born every 10 minutes with CDH and 50% of them DO NOT make it. I know I have said this before and I will DEFINITELY say it again. My efforts for raising awareness are far from over, they may have just started.
Thank you for reading,
Jaime
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Another Surgery
Here is the story of what happened to Matthew:
He woke up Tuesday morning at about 2 a.m. crying and as I picked him up he started to retch. ( What I mean by retching is gagging-dry heaving. He can not throw up due to a previous surgery.) So I got a bottle and let his G-tube vent into the bottle and what was coming out was not the right color. It had a brown tinge to it. Just knowing what to look for in CDH kiddos I knew brown was not good. He continued to retch 8 times in an hour. So I woke Jim up and we decided to take him into the ER. So we got Finn up at 3 a.m and we all got in the car and drove to the ER. We spent about 7 hours total in the ER with a 3 year old. Thankfully he did amazing. While in the ER they did an x-ray and blood work. X-ray showed what looked like a reherniation, so they immediately called surgery. They came down and said they were confident he had reherniated. They finally admitted him and then they did an upper GI on him to make sure what they were going to find when they got in there. Well the upper GI showed he had a esphoageal hernia. So his stomach had herniated into his esophagus. Needless to he definitely needed surgery AGAIN. Thank goodness it was not a rehernation of the diaphragm. So he was scheduled for surgery on Wednesday at 9 a.m. They got him in to surgery at about 10:30 and he was in recovery by 12:30. The surgeon said " He was a tough case and had lots of scar tissue" He said he was a mess in there, which we already knew that from the surgeon who preformed his other surgeries. The next day was the worst for pain for him and the poor little guy was just miserable. They were giving him pain meds, but they didn't seem to really be working as well as we would have liked. They gave him some different meds the next day and he has seemed to be a lot more comfortable since then. Each day he is improving and feeling better. He passed some gas today so we are hoping they will start feeds tomorrow. Once feeds start and go through his system and he poos then we can go home. The said he is not a typical surgery case of need to make sure he can tolerate feeds, because we already know he can tolerate them since he has been for months already.
So the procedure the surgeon is the same thing that Matthew had on a previous surgery. He had to go in and completely undo his Nissen Fundoplication and then redo it. Here is a link to what a nissen is again.
He said instead of stitching on one side he stitched it to his own tissue and then stitched it on both sides in hopes that it will never have to be redone. I sure hope so too.
I just hope that this surgery fixes everything with his stomach. It has been a very active organ. It has been up next to his heart, then it traveled to adhere itself to his patch and now it wanted to see his esophagus. I am hoping that it has decided to behave itself. I don't want ANY MORE surgeries. I know that this is the future we face with having a CDH kid. You never know when something like this will happen. There are so many different scenerios that can happen, you just hope that they won't. It is not the most fun to have to always worry if they get sick or start acting a little off. It always make you think the worst. With Finn if he gets sick and is a little off you just chalk it up to him being sick. Matthew is a different story all together. He gets a cold and I worry he will end up in the hospital. He throws up and I worry he has a bowel obstruction, reherniated, or something else all together. I hate to say I live in constant worry, but I kind of do. It is not something I really enjoy, but it is our normal and I have embraced it for all it is worth and I have learned to know my boy inside and out and I know when something is not right.
He had been acting a little off the last couple of months and I just could not put my finger on it. Now I know I need to trust my gut and when something is not quite right. I am thankful they got it figured out and he is on the mend now.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers they mean a lot to us.
Jaime
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Happy Birthday Matthew!!!
Matthew is ONE!!!
Wow! I can not believe it has been a year since we jumped head first into this crazy roller coaster ride we have been on.
One year ago today we welcomed Matthew into this world, He made one quick cry before they intubated him. That was the last time I heard him cry for a month. I got a very quick peek at my baby boy before the wheeled him up to the NICU. That is when he started the fight for his life. He was a fighter from the beginning.
4 weeks intubated (on and off)
3 surgeries
2 (too) many meds and IV's to count
1 Thankful Mommy
26 days before I held you for the first time
59 days total spent in the NICU
This is just a short summary of your stay.
Thanks to all the amazing Staff at St Al's our little boy is here with us today.
This last year has been an emotional, eye opening, rewarding, and adventurous to say the least. Not only were we learning to deal with a medically fragile child, we decided to make a huge move as well. I am not quite sure what we were really thinking, but we did it and are living it now.
Matthew has taught me the true meaning of a fighter. I can not imagine going through half of what he did and still be a happy person. I am positive I would be cranky as hell. He is the most loving, happy baby I know. ( not that I know a ton of babies) He has every right to be unhappy as I am sure he can not feel good all the time, but that never seems to matter. He gets a bit fussy at times, but what baby doesn't. He can bring a smile to my face in the darkest of times. He has shown me that I have strength that I didn't know existed inside me. I thank GOD everyday for my amazing little boy.
Matthew-
Mommy loves you more then you will ever know. You have brought such joy to our family and having you has made our family complete. You are a true miracle in every possible way. We never thought we could have you, and you surprised all of us. You came out fighting and you continue to do so. You are the happiest baby, you think your big brother is the best thing ever, and that just melts my heart to see the two of you together. I was not sure throughout my pregnancy if we would see the day you got to interact with your big brother and I am forever greatful that you did. I am looking forward to the man you will become. I know in my heart that you will do something amazing and you will make us so proud. You can do anything you put your mind and heart into. We Love you so much baby boy. Happy First Birthday. I hope to make it extra special for you. I just wish you could eat cake or ice cream to help out with that. We will make it our biggest goal for the following year to get you eating and to be able to walk.
I love you with all my heart,
Mommy
Happy 1st Birthday Matthew!!!
Wow! I can not believe it has been a year since we jumped head first into this crazy roller coaster ride we have been on.
One year ago today we welcomed Matthew into this world, He made one quick cry before they intubated him. That was the last time I heard him cry for a month. I got a very quick peek at my baby boy before the wheeled him up to the NICU. That is when he started the fight for his life. He was a fighter from the beginning.
4 weeks intubated (on and off)
3 surgeries
2 (too) many meds and IV's to count
1 Thankful Mommy
26 days before I held you for the first time
59 days total spent in the NICU
This is just a short summary of your stay.
Thanks to all the amazing Staff at St Al's our little boy is here with us today.
This last year has been an emotional, eye opening, rewarding, and adventurous to say the least. Not only were we learning to deal with a medically fragile child, we decided to make a huge move as well. I am not quite sure what we were really thinking, but we did it and are living it now.
Matthew has taught me the true meaning of a fighter. I can not imagine going through half of what he did and still be a happy person. I am positive I would be cranky as hell. He is the most loving, happy baby I know. ( not that I know a ton of babies) He has every right to be unhappy as I am sure he can not feel good all the time, but that never seems to matter. He gets a bit fussy at times, but what baby doesn't. He can bring a smile to my face in the darkest of times. He has shown me that I have strength that I didn't know existed inside me. I thank GOD everyday for my amazing little boy.
Matthew-
Mommy loves you more then you will ever know. You have brought such joy to our family and having you has made our family complete. You are a true miracle in every possible way. We never thought we could have you, and you surprised all of us. You came out fighting and you continue to do so. You are the happiest baby, you think your big brother is the best thing ever, and that just melts my heart to see the two of you together. I was not sure throughout my pregnancy if we would see the day you got to interact with your big brother and I am forever greatful that you did. I am looking forward to the man you will become. I know in my heart that you will do something amazing and you will make us so proud. You can do anything you put your mind and heart into. We Love you so much baby boy. Happy First Birthday. I hope to make it extra special for you. I just wish you could eat cake or ice cream to help out with that. We will make it our biggest goal for the following year to get you eating and to be able to walk.
I love you with all my heart,
Mommy
Happy 1st Birthday Matthew!!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
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